Hey google GUI team your image search still needs work! When I search on Bing I get a nice clean fast loading page where I can clearly see the size, perpective and orientation of the images. On Google image search my screen is now awash with what appears to be complete random clutteredness. Images are bleeding onto one another and I have no idea if I am looking at 1 image or 36 images. Just what have you done? Please fix it quickly else I will be forced to go with the swell.

If google continues to make mistakes like this and others associated with the May Day update I am certain we will see a surge of daily users migrating to Bing and Yahoo. It’s very difficult to be such a dominating, market leading company and still make considered and effective responses to attacks on your market share. I just get the feeling that with search the consequences of such mistakes will BIG and will happen FAST.

Come on Gooogle …..  

Anyone who works closely with search engines or website marketing will know very well that April and May 2010 of this year have been very confusing times. The long pending rool out of Google Caffeine may or may not of started, be underway or completed, in addition to the changing of other factors determined by their page ranking algorithm.

It must be very hard for the wolds leading search company to risk it all and change their ways. It would seem that Google plan is to bring more currency, relevance and personalisation to search results. This means that those companies who have in the past relied upon stable static serach results to bring them regular customers may no longer be able to rely on organic google traffic.
The cinics and economists will say that Google has done this in order to add instability to traffic and reveneues, therefore increasing demand for their own Pay Per Click advertising program called Adsense.

Whatever the reason beit commercial or about changing the user experience, Google is in danger of breaking the very farbic of the internet. Rememeber how amazed we were when the internet grew and was considered to be the largest, and most accessible information resource on the planet. Well that information, and accessibility is what makes the internet great. No more do we need to refer to printed encyclopedias when we have the entire knowledge of the world on tap.

But there’s a problem brewing, brought to light yesterday by a colleague. She was doing some research and desperately needed some information she had previously found on the internet. After some frantic and frustrated hours she gave up looking on Google. Google it seems now considers that vital piece of research to be NO LONGER RELEVANT.

So what Google seemed to help make, they are now certainly to break. We rely on the power of search engines like Google to deliver us the information we need. If that search engine is perceived or known not to deliver this service, what value does it have?

Now where did I put my wallet and keys? Just don’t ask Google!

Pathological Oversharing Panel - Resonance FM media playground from alfie dennen on Vimeo.

Not having studied sociopychology in my years, i was facinated to consider the concept of ‘pathological over sharing’ and the role social websites like twitter may have in enabling individuals to follow such a disfuntional path. Sure Twitter will be a lfash in the pan, in the same way that bloggin has been for most. The sweet taste on 3 click journalism soon sours on the back end of a 10 pint night. I can only hope that the common masses leave journalism to those who can write… unles sfo course they have soemthing to say that might actually be worth reading. This author is content to be considered in either category.

Pathological Over Sharing - thanks to Resonance 104.4FM London (cool community radio) for the ‘heads up’ on this topic.

In these times of political correctness gone mad, I would expect Google to be impartial in respect to the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Not becuase the founders and many of the employees of this immense corporation don’t share the Christian faith, but simply because sometimes its best not to alienate your customers. For this reason when I received a seasonal email from Google, it was as I expected, a very middle of the road uncommittal seasonal gesture. With a second glance I looked at the work of the graphic artist and noticed that they had made a clear design decision. Incorporate into the design was a cross that could be interpreted as a represnetation of a gift parcel, card, and ribbon. The allignment of the horizonal ellements in the design, however; ensure that we are treated to not just a cross, but in fact; a rather celebratory Crucifix. Well done to Google for celebrating Christmas.  

So we are heading for the largest economic crisis to hit the world for over decades. Maybe I could ask google the best way too, erm, too …… ah whatever, I’m sure Google will help me. Now lets see what the reccomend to get me through these times of need. Aha, right now I got it, OK first I’m gonna loose some weight, then when that doesn’t work I’ll probably just want to end it all. Jeez if I could just loose some belly fat that might help. Sod it, I cant loose it, so I’ll try and gain some. I’ll get high on weed and eat some snickers that should do it. Now I got it, I’ll get pregnant. Stranger things have happened. Now what shall I burn next? Some fat or some money? Perhaps I’ll just go on holiday to spain… maybe I’ll quit the fags when I get back.

Come on Google, things arent that bad, are they ?

Computers can help make and break relationships. In the 80’s we got Weird Science that saw the fantasies of teenager come alive in the form of the stunning. But that’s just fantasy right? Well it seems not any more.
More and more of us are falling for someone we know only through some form of virtual contact. traditionaly news groups bulletin boards, and email now its easier then aver to have a virtual flirt with messenger. But it seems the potential for a virtually real relationship doesn’t stop there.

Recently it has been reported that a man’s relationship in virtual world Other Life has resulted in the end of his real world marriage. His wife has filed for divorce on the grounds of him having an affair.
It’s easy to understand how ass humans we can get so much out of a relationship via computer. It’s a bit like the way we love our dogs. A dog doesn’t really love you. We simply project love onto the dog and in our own twisted manipulative minds we like to believe its bouncing back. As humans we are needy.

Using online tools to interact with your illegitimate love interest can be dangerous. It was back in 1995, working at Online Magic, London’s greatest online new media agency, that I saw my sparring partner Jim clutch his face gasping.
Clutching your face and gasping is the first thing you do when you are no longer fucking your computer but your computer is fucking you.

Alas poor Jim was having an affair. It transpired that whilst his love interest existed on terra firma he liked to communicate with her via email. This is an important lesson kids. Always check the email address before you click send. On a slightly shaky Monday morning poor Jim received an email from his girl and being excited like he was, he failed to check the header or the sender. Jim wrote back enthusiastically saying how great the weekend had been with his semi-digital squeeze pouring out his heart and declaring much love. Caught up in the moment he signed his love bunny signature and clicked reply.

Jim of course was very surprised by the next email he received.

I quote “Dearest Susie,, what a fantastic weekend, the more time I spend with you the more my heart yearns for you… and so on ”

Had Jim sent the email to himself? No kids!

Jim had replied to all on the newsgroup that he subscribes to, other subscribers included his digital squeeze, most of friends and his wife. Well done Jim.

That day Jim learned that making up via email is a damn site harder than breaking up. Jim we had our differences but I remember you fondly.

Next week we are going to look at how sending pictures of your erect member to women in America can get you free rides around the world.

I am fortunate enough to work in a place where I get my hands of plenty of new technology. Just now we have been checking out some cool GPS photo logging kit. These hand held devices can be used alongside your camera phone or digital camera to log and track where and when pictures are taken. These devices could be a catalyst for a host of new internet applications, or we might find GPS built into consumer electronics as standard.

But how about this…

Imagine this amazing new technology, where you can take a photo of your mates on a night out and have the time, place and position automatically logged and posted to applications like google earth for you to share with your friends and family. My colleague who tested this cool new global postioning applicaion tells me, ” it even works on trains “, nice one James! You clever guy.

Worshipping a new God. Visitors to a church demonstrate modern worship behaviour directed at a new digital god.